Kung Fu massage in Jakarta, Indonesia

I decide to go in the city by myself to do some shopping and get a massage. Before I leave the hotel, I ask for a place where I can go for a pleasant massage in town. I have been recommended to go to the best massage center, and I am very enthusiastic about it. I can feel the stiffness in my shoulder and the tiredness in my legs.

  

The roads are jammed on the way to the city and I am in the taxi admiring the view and the people. While looking out of the window, I am thinking how fatigued I am, but yet I don’t want to stay all day in the room rolling in bed. This is my third time here and every time I come, this city fascinates me even more. It seems very pure and the people live very modestly, and they have the kindness that you don’t see in every part of the world.

I just arrived at the massage center and I like what I see. It looks good from the outside, and I can’t wait to get in and finally get pampered. At the reception, a lady greets me and asks me in broken English what kind of massage I would like to do and gives me a few options.

I choose a full body massage, but to be quite frank with you, I didn’t actually understand much of what she was saying or the types of massages I was being offered to pick from.

As soon as I enter the room, I feel relaxed. The lights are dim and a nice scent is in the air. The massage center is on two floors and you can see what’s going on the lower floor. I am pleased to feel the tranquil in people getting foot massages done. There is calmness floating in the air.

Another lady makes me choose the oil fragrance I would like in my massage. Happily, I choose the lavender oil. I then see my masseur and follow her to a tiny and obscure couloir. She speaks zero English, just kidding, I am lying. She speaks three words: “okay”, “pain?” and “leady?” what she meant by this third word is “ready”.

She shows me the massage room, and I am making myself comfortable on the bed already thinking of how relaxed I will feel, in advance in my head. I see some wooden stick on top of the bed attached to the wall in a rectangle shape, but I didn’t bother much to understand what it is.

The lady enters the room, and with no word of warning, she jumps onto the bed, standing on her legs. The petite lady is standing on top of me! I wonder what is going on, but there was so much action going on all at once that I don’t have time to think. It is a leg massage apparently. All I could hear was “paaaaain?” Of course, judging by my screams, what else was she expecting? I say yes and she says “okaayyyyyyy” but not making it any better.

Now she has moved to my back. I was stiffer than before, and I am thinking how will I get this lady off my back. Through my thoughts, I can hear “leaaadyyyy?”

For what, I begin to ask but before I finish my sentence, this lady is suspended to that wooden beam and with her legs she jumps and cracks my back. My eyes pop out! My mouth is wide open and saliva comes out of it. I am in shock. I didn’t get the time to recover after this, and here we go again, “leaaaadyyyy?” and I hear another crack. I can feel and hear every vertebra in my body screaming. I am screaming. I cannot believe I paid to go through this.

I cannot wait for the massage to finish and to get out of there alive. I am not relaxed at all and upset with myself. Now I learned the differences between massages, and for sure, the same mistake won’t happen again, ever!