The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence… isn’t it?

We all have something to look forward to (one way or another) at the end of the day. Some people’s dreams are bigger than other people’s dreams but this doesn’t make them less than the rest, it is just that we all have different views and priorities in life.

A major mistake we all make as humans is comparing our achievements with others’ achievements forgetting in fact the reason why do we do what we do.

From a very young age my parents taught me that I needed to be good, not to fight, and not steal. That I had to study, go to school and be somebody. They wanted me to have a name that would
make them proud. I often sat down in my corner as child crying and wondering why I had to do everything though I didn’t want any of it. It was fun for me to be mean!!! I loved pushing children around and stealing small stuff that I got away with. Let’s not even go to study because that to me was the most horrible thing to do. I would always sit and wonder why I was wasting my time and my life reading and writing homework instead of doing something meaningful to me, and that was playing with children, drawing outfits for my dolls, and the list could carry on.

Then my mother always used to tell me ‘’you need to be somebody and to make us proud’’. It meant absolutely nothing to me at the time. I have always wondered why she would cry if my grades were not good or if the teachers kept calling her to school, for being naughty.  Yes I was ashamed but not for my actions, it was for how I made my mother feel and she had to cover my actions in front of my dad.

When I started looking for a job, it wasn’t what I wanted to do, I was always looking for something that society thought was right and good for me, that’s why I was so miserable and Iwouldn’t last more than six months. Why??? It simply wasn’t suitable for me. You might now think I am blaming my parents. It wasn’t their fault for teaching me this, it was the mentality they grew up with it and it was their duty to pass it on to their children as their parents did for them.

Now I am growing older and I still think my actions were right at the time and I never regretted that my grades weren’t so great, in fact it never affected or impacted my life. When one wants to learn something he will because he is interested and motivated, not by force.

Why am saying all these?!!! Not to show you that I was a naughty child or disobedient daughter, that partly is crystal clear.

But it is good if you close your eyes for a minute and stop worrying „what if?”, stop having negative thoughts and wonder „why did it happen to me?”, stop regretting and saying „ why did I do that?”. There is no “what” or “why”; you did it, move on and see what can be done about it. Nothing is happening to you without a reason.

Now, for those who enjoy studying and have amazing grades or listen to parents please don’t be rebellious and stop doing what you do, because it is not wrong. It was just not my cup of tea.

What am trying to say is that we are all different and just because your goals and aspirations in life are different than others’ it doesn’t mean that you are wrong or they are wrong. There is no right and wrong, it is how you feel about it, it is what makes you happy.

Don’t worry about what society tells you that are the right things to do, worry about what makes you happy and what is right for you. At the end of the day, society is not living your life and is not living your decisions.  There will always be someone to put you down and tell you that this was not right, but if you believe in what you do, just do it and live your life.

Take a step back, look what drives you and do what your heart tells you to do, not what is right for others, because that might not be right thing for you and it will make you unhappy.

About five years ago I got offended because one of my next door neighbors that I grew up with told me „look where you come from and where you are now”. He didn’t mean it in a bad way or in a wrong way but I couldn’t stop myself from noticing a bit of envy in his eyes and voice. I got offended because I didn’t think I come from a bad place and he didn’t understand my path, and thought it was easy for me.  It wasn’t my fault that he took the wrong decisions in his life and tried his best to achieve something without succeeding and I felt judged for all I got, that isn’t much, but that was much for him.

You see, no matter how happy you are or how much you achieve in life, it is in human nature to look at others and want what they have, because you think they are better off than you. At the same time, they want what you have and they could be much unhappier than you are.

Go beyond your gender, nationality, financial possibilities, color, accent, appearance and think of how you can succeed, instead of blaming the world of being against you.

Look in your garden, water your plants, learn how to live alone in your garden and once you learned that you will find happiness. The grass is never greener at the other end of the fence; it is just the way you look at it.