Manipulative minds or manipulated minds …. hmm

“I put my heart and my soul into my work and have lost my mind in the process”, Vincent van Gogh.

I use this quote as an example of how all people, even those of exceptional talent or wealth, have problems one way or another.  Not only mental illness like the great Van Gogh but it could be ego bust, trust issues, over possessiveness or simply an unhappy personal life. No one is completely happy or free of problems. 

I would like to touch on a subject based on a certain category of individuals - those who have authority. Think of an influential person such as a country president, chief executive or a powerful business owner. 

To reach such positions they had to all be diligent, intelligent, daring, organized, but in their personal life they are either taken or emotionally unavailable. Some remain in toxic relationships, because of social status and expectations of society. I am not referring to a certain nationality or culture, because it is irrelevant, at the end of the day they are all humans no matter what. Something we should bear in mind is these folks got where they are through hard work and studies and they dared for something more in life than the rest of us. 

Many have a gift, and that is to manipulate one’s mind without the person realizing. They are able to make you do what they want you to do, no matter how resistant you are and they have the ability to find a way for you fall for it. Of course fairy tales do happen, Kate and Prince William, Megan with Prince Harry, the most hunted Hollywood bachelor George Clooney was captured by Amal and the Burmese king ended up with a cabin crew. Well, welcome to a reality check, you may not become their other half, because they usually already have one. What they are really after is a distraction of their attention from day to day stresses, that’s what you are to them - a cat and mouse game. These men do not need your nagging, all they need is someone to control and be at their service for half an hour of your time when they are available and you must be on standby, just to boost their confidence up. 

Once you get up there, things become pretty easy and they will not accept a refusal because at the end of the day they are humans too, weak and insecure just like the rest of us. Sometimes they also lose control because they know they might not win and become defensive with aggressive abusive behavior or less composed.

It’s funny how at the beginning through sweet words, kind gestures and loads of attention they will try to get you because you are the chosen one. Of course the more you resist the more interesting the game is for them and they will try to conquer you. Because they are confident they will get you, they will not give up.

 Do not get scared, all the attention and obsessive behavior is not permanent but only temporary until they feel they have you. Do not run, if you do, you tend to upset them and their actions become unsympathetic. In their mind you belong to them, so you need to report to them where you are, who you are with, specific timings,  if not they become suspicious and insecure and  if they could use a tracking devise on you  they just might, because they are not  ordinary normal people.

Is not easy to resist temptation and you can easily get attached to these people, not because they are attractive or well off. You get attached because their sweet words and attention fill that empty space in your life

Most of us confound attachment with the feeling of love, because they isolate you from the world or you isolate yourself by making them a priority since you don’t know when they have time for you. You become insecure and angry for no reason and suspicious. You miss the attention once it is taken away from you. You will be alone most of the time because in your mind you should be available for them when it suites them to see you. I will probably compare the way you might feel with the “Stockholm Syndrome” where the captive begins to closely identify with their captor.

How to get out of it, if you want of course. Look in the mirror, tell yourself that you are better than that and start wanting more for yourself. All this fellows are selling fake dreams and illusions and you must realize that. Nothing is worth more than your freedom.

Snap out of it and stop being be a victim. Do not poison your mind with fake dreams. Stay away from toxic people that will only bring unhappiness to your life. Life is much more than being a prisoner in your own palace. Care for yourself and your mental health. You are worth much more than someone’s distraction of their insecurities, make yourself someone’s priority.