Losing Track of Time

I felt great. I celebrated my birthday a few days ago even though it wasn’t what I really wanted. Mixed feelings were running through my brain with all kinds of scenarios. I was continuously saying to myself that things will be different; however, deep inside of you, you already know the answer.

I read somewhere long time ago that nobody likes to see a sad face and nobody cares for your problems, and you are more likely to attract people around you by being positive, by never complaining and always showing that you are happy. I followed it for a couple of years and it worked. In fact, people asked, “How are you always happy?” “How do you do it?” How do I do it? Experience comes with practice, so I practice.

Coming back to what I wanted to tell you. I was walking towards a clinic for an ongoing problem that was just eating me up. While walking in extreme heat, smiling, and with a serene face, I saw people turning their heads after me. It’s interesting how people pay attention to your expressions. Anyway, at the doctor’s office, I patiently waited outside. A voluptuous lady, with Russian features and short blonde hair opened the door and with a smile invited me in. She was the doctor.

“I looked at your profile and I just saw you turned thirty two!” she said, “Happy Birthday!”

With a big smile I quickly corrected her, “As far as I know, I turned thirty one, but thank you!”

“According to the system you just turned thirty two. I am sorry to break this news to you”. I couldn’t make out if she was being genuine or sarcastic, but at this point I didn’t care. She probably thought I was joking. But then I realized…

Has anyone experienced this before? I felt like someone was putting an extra year to my life. I couldn’t hear a word of what she was saying. My smile just wiped off my face. I suddenly became worried and anxious and started calculating my age. Was I in a denial for two years? Did I lose track of my age? I was sitting on my chair firmly, but in my head I just wanted to get up and leave. I wanted to call my mother, my brothers, and my boyfriend to ask my age. I know it may sound crazy, but I was simply devastated at that point.

My family and my boyfriend thought I was joking. For a second even I thought to myself that I was going mad. Ha Ha ha. It took me two weeks to accept the fact that I had turned thirty two. I still think today of that particular moment in my life when I came to find out I was a year older than I thought, and I have no idea how I managed to lose track of one whole year of my life. Was I not paying enough attention to myself? I was thirty years old for two years in a row in my head. Now I laugh at myself and still wonder how this was possible.

I am still recovering from the internal shock, but what I learnt is that not everything in life should be taken too seriously like I did. If you lose track of time, do it with complete heart. You will not get that time back but at least you will be making good memories for yourself.