The Blind Date in Abuja, Nigeria

I say it before you will; how do I manage to get myself in such situations. The answer is really simple: life will be too boring without taking chances and trying new things.

My friend landed from Abuja, Nigeria, and she called me from the airport even before she got home. “Love, listen, I went out in Abuja and a very handsome guy followed me all night asking for my number. I told him he was not my type, but my friend will surely like him…of course I was thinking of you”.

I get that my friends want me well and they are thinking of me. Like Miss Cool trying to hook me up with the confused rapper with escorts, and now Miss Comedian trying to hook me up with a hot Nigerian politician who ran after her all night. Long story short, I got convinced to text this gentleman and promised her I will meet him if I ever go there.

After about three months of keeping contact with this gentleman, I finally got a flight to the most “exotic” place in Africa … Abuja. I landed around dinner time and I had to get ready to meet him. Since he told me not to eat so we could have dinner together, I complied and got ready for the blind date. I was relaxed because it was to be in the same hotel, or at least that is what I thought. I dressed up as if I was going for a red carpet walk since I trusted my friend’s opinion. She said he was a good looking, classy and an elegant man. Even if I was going to meet Obama at the White House, I wouldn’t put so much effort in my appearance.

Finally, two hours later than the agreed time, he showed up at the hotel. Since I am a punctuality freak, this was a big turn off and I was already pissed off, and I almost told him I don’t want to meet him. Let’s not forget I was starving and the butterflies in my stomach by then had eaten every nerve of tolerance I had.

I tried to stay calm and went down to the lobby in my red carpet outfit, feeling uncomfortable already by the way people looked at me. He called me while I was in the lobby enquiring where I was because he couldn’t see me, and when I saw him, I simply wanted to runaway. I almost lost my speech and hated my friend for convincing me he was a good looking, very classy and an elegant man. I also hated myself for falling for it. He turned out to be quite short with a gigantic belly and was dressed oddly.

“Hi, we finally meet,” he said. “You look stunning!”

I felt out of place already, I wanted to run back to my room and get out of this nightmare. But I couldn’t be so impolite and uneducated, so I continued chatting and playing it cool.

“I know a very good place where we can have dinner nearby,” he said.

I tried convincing him that I am not ready to leave the hotel, but he was so persistent that I would love the food there. Walking in 6 inch heels, in the hotel parking lot in Abuja wasn’t really what I had imagined to be, but it was an experience. While in the car, he told me about this lovely private place he knew nearby and I was kind of skeptical from the beginning, but something just dragged me there and it wasn’t this gentleman for sure. It was my adventurous side that likes to take chances.

In front of an almost three meters high fence, he told me that we had arrived. I was thinking at the back of my head that this is the end of me, that’s it, I will be kidnapped or God knows what else. However, I walked confidently as if I had everything under control while praying to God I go back home in one piece.

While walking towards a table like a mermaid in my black, body hugging dress, I saw a few other men. Everything was kind of private and the place looked decent. Since he was in a political campaign, and most of the men present there were into politics, some even running for presidency, this place was like a gateway from the paparazzi. In a low voice, he tells me, “I wasn’t completely honest with you, but that night when I was after your friend, in fact it was not for me but it was for a very good friend” At this moment if I had a knife, I would have committed a murder.

I sat down next to a gentleman dressed in the local traditional outfit, and as soon as I sat down, he started flirting with me with no shame. It was funny and charming in a way. I kind of admired his nerves, but all I thought was that I had signed to act in a bad comedy movie and I had no choice but to play along and entertain the situation. In the mean time, my food arrived and it was scuba diving in oil and burned. The dinner was kind of a last minute accommodation especially for me, and I was grateful for it, except I couldn’t eat it. I had to contain my anger and play along to quickly escape from the situation that I had got myself into.

While the gentleman who was still flirting with me for quite some time now, and he become more and more cheesy with his words and compliments, another woman showed up who walked towards us with. She was wearing heels and a navy green short dress with a generous décolletage. Instantly, the flirt pulled his chair further and placed another chair for her in between us.

The entire evening was amusing now. It was in fact fun to watch the man in action and to analyze his behavior. Every spare moment he got from that woman, for example whenever she went to the restroom, he pulled his chair closer to mine and began to flirt again.  Finally, the movie was over and my so called date dropped me back to the hotel that evening and I was happy to be back in one piece.

Even today we say hi to each other but never meet. However, a year after the date the flirtatious gentleman called me. We met for dinner once and it turned out that he is a pretty powerful man in Nigeria. Since I don’t want to become a part of Nigerian newspapers or have paparazzi after me if I have to go to Nigeria again, I will leave the details a mystery.